Open Your Eyes

It’s been a rough road for me since my last breakup. The loneliness, the questioning, the re-emerging and second-guessing. The post break up period is a terrible time for anyone. Even if you are the one who wanted out. Even if it was a terrible relationship. You still have second thoughts, you still wonder, “what if…” In many of my past relationships, I’ve suppressed my feelings with rebounds. Great for a night, terrible for the long run. So this time around, I decided to spend some time thinking about myself and what I really needed, what would really, truly make me happy, and what I could be comfortable with in the future. I didn’t give myself a time limit and I didn’t make any new relationship resolutions. I just sat back, relaxed, and for once attempted to take my own advice.

It’s a catch 22 when you write for WJNTY. Coming up with great advice every week isn’t the hard part, it’s following it in your own life that is difficult. My close friends will laugh at me all the time because I’m the first one to let the most hypocritical phrase out of my mouth: “Yea, I understand, but my situation is different.” In other words, I have to wear really thick-soled boots in my glass house.

But my time of reflection has been fantastic, and this time, more than any other, I actually feel that my rehab has been well received. I now can admit my faults, see my future, and am 5 months sober, but still taking it one day at a time. But my real awaking was completed over the past 5 days, in the form of my Dad’s advice, a model couple and a single friend who have not only opened my eyes, but also reinstated my faith in people and future relationships.

My best friend and I traveled a few hours away these past few days to go visit a girl we barely knew. She’s about to embark on a long journey to another country, and I thought she deserved a proper goodbye. From the first time I met Amanda, I could tell she was an amazing person. Not amazing like, tells funny jokes and plays bingo with seniors on Wednesday nights, but amazing like, the overwhelming feeling you get when you stare deep into someone’s eyes and within a split second realize without a shadow of a doubt they are 100% authentic and true. These people are rare, and deserve proper goodbyes. She portrays extreme beauty but doesn’t try for a second, powerful confidence with a hint of calm shyness, the quickness to be hilarious while making you feel that you are the funny one, and the ability to remain friends with the opposite sex without even the faintest uncomfortable question that there might be more. She’s a catch for the right guy, but knows that there aren’t that many out there who can fill the role. But the best part about her? The friends she keeps are all right up there with her.

Many are single, and a few are in relationships. Some are married, and one has a tiny little baby. But what they have in common is their unbridled love and affection for one another. They welcomed my best friend and I with open armed hugs, and made us feel like we were part of the group from minute one. There was no trash talk between them, there was no cattiness, no drama and nothing you could consider as fake. We had serious talks about career goals of one day reaching anchor on local news, and we laughed about ridiculous infomercial ideas such as wacking and snacking. No conversation was out of reach nor was held without full attentiveness, no phones were pulled out during dinners and never was there a dull moment. And even though some may consider Amanda’s trip risky, or even foolish, they were nothing but proud and supportive of their friend who has the balls to chase a dream. Our goodbyes were that of people who have been friends for years. It was a relief to see a group of girlfriends like that. Something I have not seen in a very long time, but needed to experience more than I knew.

These amazing two days rode in on the coat tails of one of the better weekends I’ve had since moving to Charlotte. A bitter sweet going away party for my closest friends in Charlotte who are headed out west. I’ll save you the details on the weekend’s events. The party was great, food was good and booze was crazy. The turnout was huge for this amazing couple; people even flew in just to wish them the best in the next chapter of their lives.

KC2, as we’ll call them, are admirable. They make true love not only seem possible, but extremely attainable and plausible. They have a way of looking at each other that will melt the rest of the room away. Time stops momentarily as nothing else in the world could possibly matter except for the silent communication that only they understand. Nostalgic stories are told about this kind of love. Wars were fought over it. It’s the kind of love we all pray to have once in our lives.

I’m just happy that I get the opportunity to see that it exists. Some people never get the chance to see true love, let alone experience it themselves. Many people leap into proximity infatuation believing it will turn into true love and waste their lives away searching for the greener grass. KC2 won’t have that problem. I’d like to say they are lucky, but that would be the easy way out. They created a foundation the right way. They dated for a long time throughout huge changes in their lives. Between college, real world jobs and traveling, they realized they still loved each other through different periods in life. It took engagement for them to move in with each other, and ample time between then and marriage to make sure cohabitating worked. There was no need to rush into anything because being together was more than enough. Their model was something we can all learn from, and I feel honored to even be associated with this amazing couple.

So from the past 5 day’s events, I’ve had my eyes opened. And I’m proud to announce I’m back on the market. Through KC2 I was shown at a crucial time in my life that there are people out there worth dedicating your life to, you just have to look in the right places. And sometimes, it takes a long time to decipher the map of your life to find which places hold trouble and which hold treasure. KC2 have shown me that there is such thing as a real life fairytale. It may not involve magic carpets, glass slippers or tiaras, but what they have is so real and so beautiful that anyone could be happy for the rest of their lives if they could hold on to the feeling they share today. They’ve set the bar high, but there’s no need to lower it; this isn’t limbo, it’s life. Nothing good has ever come easy, and I love a good challenge.

I find it very ironic that it took two separate goodbye parties to make me finally realize that there's hope to eventually find what it is that I truly want to come home to every night. I learned it’s in the situations you'd least expect, where you can find the greatest impact on your life. So let’s all keep our fingers crossed that this time around, when I let the chips fall as they may, may they line up in a pretty arrow, pointing me to the pretty girl across the table with blue eyes and hair as dark as the wine that we drink. And with any luck, the next card I pull will be an Ace of Hearts, with my name on it.

WJNTY - Seth
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